Anna and the river
story influenced by Proustian way of writing...
Walking by the river, Anna discovers the beauty in the flow of the water. She focused on the lines of the liquid that were tracing over the rocks, and the green moss that was growing on its bed. The glossy water and the small waves woke up a feeling of tranquility within her, and she had to stop to breathe for a moment, so as to let herself be indulged by this transcendent experience. This might have been the only moment in her life where she did not think about her past or future events. She just existed. However, her mind is sometimes her own enemy, and she starts reminiscing about her painful and unbearable childhood.
Anna was very sure of herself while growing up. She never let anyone bring her spirit down and she was a big dreamer. Her imagination was incredible of the sorts. She wrote, painted, danced and was constantly in an imaginary scenario with some characters she liked from TV shows. Being in her room meant she had all the freedom to do whatever came to mind. She felt safe when her doors would close, and all of a sudden her mind just went away to another world. No matter her friendships and everyday encounters, nothing could equalize her own mind developing storylines so interesting that she never felt restless. Boredom was not an option for her, as her only equipment for having fun were her own thoughts. Nonetheless, certain events that happened made her change this perspective in the long run. RIght now, her thoughts have become a bourdain, and the imagination she once had now is always coming back to her traumatic experiences. She felt as if all her creativity is based only on trauma and she cannot grow away from it.
The images of blood stains on the walls of her living room are flashing in her mind. The image of her mother’s body in a pool of blood, trying to gasp for air as her wound was becoming larger, kept making Anna feel dizzy and uneasy. She remembers vividly the metallic smell of the apartment she once called home. And most profoundly, she remembers her father’s grin as he walked past his once beloved wife, and looked Anna dead in the eyes saying “Don’t worry, she will be fine”. Anna cannot recall exactly her own thoughts in that moment, as her mind was not intact, her body was ready to act, not letting the mind interfere. The police had already been on the way as this was happening. But, the body they found was not her mother’s. Anna’s father had disappeared for a moment and as the medics helped Anna’s mother and the police began questioning her, a loud noise emerged from the balcony. Immediately, all of the people there had run to the balcony, only to see Anna’s father had jumped into death from the tenth floor.
Anna did not realize it had become dark outside, as she was reminiscing again about this event. She felt the warmth of her tears and the pace of her breathing accelerated. She wants to stop remembering all of this, but she knew she was doomed with the same mind until her death. She will never escape the chains of her own past and she cannot ever say again that her mind is her safe space. The time is passing away and the river keeps on flowing forward, but Anna transcends backwards in time. The moment of relaxation she had was ruined as usual, as it is her memories that come creeping back on her, leaving her no place to grow as a person. She still questions whether or not Heraclitus had been right by saying “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man”.